This year has felt like a walk through Hell and Heaven all together, all at once.
This experience has made me realize God created both maps. The same map is held in different frequencies to assist in healing.
We seem so afraid of Hell and the Gates within that landscape. Scared to face our deepest, darkest demons.
But what if we remembered that Heaven and Hell work under the same authority? God.
Of course, they both serve different purposes, but neither is inherently better or safer than the other.
God's children are God's children. That doesn’t just go away when we descend into darker timelines of Hell.
You are held in God's heart. So trust you have descended for a reason.
So intensely we focus on ascending. We want to be somewhere we may not have achieved yet.
But what about descending? You did it to come here. And we do it multiple times in a day sometimes (ever gossip?? That’s descension)
Instead of demonizing or running away from Hell, which is inherently woven into the human experience.
Can we lean into it? Can we welcome Hell’s Gates when a scary challenge, truth, loss, and initiation stand before us?
I spent most of this year either trying to escape the Gates of Hell or playing victim.
Neither worked nor made my reality any better.
Losing your footing in your highest timeline can be a bitch. I became very humbled this year with the arrival of my son, who is facing severe disability.
I’m no expert in Hell (I’ve learned to humble myself), but here are some ways that made this Hell walk a bit smoother:
1.Council/Therapy
gasp! “But therapy doesn’t work. You need a spiritual journey to collapse this timeline.”
Therapy does work for some. Think about it: you are bringing in Council—one of the most honourable spaces to sit in.
Council means you are ready to process and digest your experiences, which allows your body to digest them as well.
By moving through this process, you are integrating the timeline!! You’re making revelations and realizations as you go through the council space.
Council and therapy can look like a traditional circle held by elders or masters in the space you need help in.
It can look like friends and family surrounding you and bringing clarity and support for your digestion.
For me, it looked like a professional counsellor in an office space who has training and years of experience with grief and loss.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all council space. Make it how you need it to be. Your body and soul will thank you
2. Sisterhood/Brotherhood
When you descend into Hell, you will have those who leave you and those who stay.
Not everyone can hold such a powerful death-walk, and that’s okay.
But see if one of your sisters or brothers can support you.
I am so grateful and honoured to have two incredible soul sisters who are willing to sit there and let me cry or allow me to process what’s currently happening during this hell walk.
If you do not have anyone willing to hold space, finding a seasoned practitioner or ceremonial artist may be a great option, too!
And who knows, sometimes those artists become our sisters/brothers after all!
3. Nourishment & Hydration
This one is the hardest for me. However, I make the most significant effort as I see how important our bodies are during these Hell walks.
Nourishment is not only physical; it can be mental, emotional, spiritual and energetic, too.
Nourishment can look like the yummiest bowl of soup after the biggest crying fest you have ever been to.
Nourishment can be silently sitting with your partner or friend, just knowing you’re not alone in this.
It can look like a beach walk, dancing, cooking, drinking bone broth, screaming at the top of your lungs, “WHAT THE FUCKKKKK!!!” (seems to be my go-to at the moment)
What I’m trying to say is that only you know how to nourish your body.
And when you can’t figure it out, go with cravings.
When you are so depleted, exhausted, and numb, you can’t always see or feel what the body needs
So, see if you can feel what would taste yummy, feel good or bring you a slice of peace amidst the chaos/anxiety/depression/grief/etc.
If that doesn’t work, ask others to help.
Sometimes, I ask Tyler (my beloved) what he wants to eat. Because we are so connected, his answer is usually precisely what I also need.
That brings us to the second part, hydration. Very simple, when you are going through a very difficult time, the body needs fluids to keep your plasma hydrated. Plasma = life force.
Bring a water bottle wherever you go. Sometimes we don't realize how dehydrated we are! Having structured clean drinking water with you at all times allows for easy hydration.
4. Prayer
Even though this one is the last on my list, it has been the most important, powerful and impactful.
I will never tell you how to pray, but I can offer some beginning suggestions where you can build and expand into a beautiful prayer practice
The first thing to understand is you must remember the name you call God.
Do you say, God? Do you say, Beloved? Do you say Holy Mother? Holy Father? Christ?
There are so many names for our divine parents. And not one greater than the other.
Honour what you call God, as it’s unique to you.
It is like when we get nicknames! It feels unique and personal, and we always answer to them when someone calls us that (as long as they are respectful). God is the same.
Next, let’s establish how there is no one way to pray.
Prayer can look like singing, chanting, silence, breathing, speaking words, speaking in tongues, creating art, crying and screaming, nature walks, etc.
Prayer is so expansive. You don’t need to conform to one aspect of the art when your body begs for some nature instead of sitting in your living room for the 100th day in a row (oops. Am I outing myself right now?!)
Finally, TRUST IN YOUR PRAYER.
God did not place you in this situation out of vain. Nope.
God did not give you the words or actions on what to say or do as you pray.
God sees how powerful you are, an image of Him & Her. So trust you know what to do in prayer
On days I have no idea how I am going to survive this or how I can support my son, I pray.
I scream, beg, and offer myself as a vessel for God. I offer my home as a temple of God.
Most importantly, I trust my prayers are landing and being heard even when nothing changes (oof!)
EVEN. WHEN. NOTHING. CHANGES. I pray.
Do you understand how powerful that is??
Even when you are still sitting at the gates of Hell…
Even when you wake up and still feel the palpable taste of grief, depression, guilt, overwhelm, etc….
Even when you feel like giving up or burning down cities with your untameable rage…
YOU. PRAY.
Final Words
Thank you for reading and saying yes to feeling empowered through your challenges and big emotions/life experiences.
Even when we get caught off guard, and things feel like they are falling apart or stuck in a never-ending Hell walk - you can always find your footing
My last piece of advice to you through the challenge:
One step at a time. Never surpress your emotions & always ask for help.
I love you,
Alexandra
——————
What stuck out to you the most? Share below in the comments if you feel called, I love communicating with you all.